Love Actually is actually full of sh*t, and Boris Johnson may be bumbling, but he’s no Prime Minister Hugh Grant

The year is 2003. The British Prime Minister, in love with a junior staff member in his administration witnesses her being sexually harassed by a boorish American President. Soon after, at a press conference, the British politician shows great courage and resolution as he publicly rebukes this bullying Yank. In the process, he charms everyone in […]

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Britain in 1975 and America in the 1950s – the good old days (before foreigners ruined everything)

Britain and America are in trouble. There are few jobs left for natural born citizens. They’ve mostly been taken by foreigners. At least that’s what politicians like Boris Johnson and Donald Trump keep telling us.   In the UK, the Brits will soon vote on whether to leave the EU so they can start closing their borders, especially to refugees […]

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British people and Italians? Fuggedaboutit!

Hey British people. What’s the matter with you?  You got like a million Italian restaurants in this country. You wear Italian clothes, some of you drive Italian cars. Italian perfume. All of that crap.  Yet not one of you mamalukes seems to know the first goddamn thing about Italy or Italians. I can not even count the […]

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Arseholes of England: A compendium of characters best avoided

I urge you to take note of my experiences and observations, which have been gained at great cost. It is for you and your benefit that I have created, compiled and categorised this comprehensive compendium and catalogue of English Arseholes.

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The British love “Friends” more than the French love Jerry Lewis

“It’s the reunion we can’t stop talking about!““Best news ever!““We are still struggling to contain our excitement!“ British newspapers and websites were recently aflutter with news of a potential reunion of the cast from 1990s American television sitcom Friends. It seemed to be all anyone was talking or writing about. I have no idea if the […]

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Angry in the UK: How to make a British person mad

A while back, I wrote a blog post “How to express enthusiasm like an American.” But I feel this is only half of the equation. British people aren’t only loathe to show enthusiasm, they’re also just as reticent to display anger. I don’t mean to say that British people don’t feel anger. They certainly do – they […]

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Common-platz: Seen one European city, seen ’em all

I live in Europe. In London, to be precise. That makes me a European. Europe is better than America because it is filled with diverse countries and cultures. Right?  For example, one of the big advantages of being a European is that you can visit other European cities so easily. For me, Paris is only 40 […]

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Choice: An American-only option

I have a cold. My nose is runny, my eyes itch and I feel tired. So I have taken some Lemsip. Lemsip is a lemon-flavoured powdered cold medicine that you put in a cup, pour hot water over and then drink. That’s what you do when you have a cold in the UK. That’s what […]

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Things in Britain that I am grateful for…

Thanksgiving is over in the USA, but today’s blog is about things I’d like to give thanks for about life in the UK. My American forefathers may have fled Britain in order to obtain more religious freedoms and economic opportunities, but here’s what they’ve missed out on by not just hanging in there:  Right wing […]

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Britain just doesn’t get Thanksgiving

Dear Britain, Thanksgiving is a big meal where you eat turkey with your family and think about what you’re thankful for. It’s not complicated. But you just don’t seem to get it. I tried explaining it to you. Last year, I wrote a comprehensive, day by day, moment by moment guide to Thanksgiving for British people. […]

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