A big New York F*ck you for September 11th
This blog was written on the 10th of September, because I don’t turn on my computer on the 11th. Every year on that day, I avoid the internet, and I request that no one turns on the TV in our household. Tomorrow is 15 years to the day, but I don’t care if it’s the 15th, 17th […]
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Overly revered or under-appreciated? British culture appraised, part 1
You people in the UK don’t seem to properly appreciate or value what you have in your own country, and I’d like to point out to you exactly where you’ve got it wrong.
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American tourists’ guide to not making a prat, pillock or plonker of yourself in the UK
I’m an American who has lived in Britain nearly a dozen years. Here is everything you need to know to not make an ass of yourself when visiting.
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Questions Americans ask you about living in England – and how to answer them
We’re back home, visiting America at the moment, and we’re having to reply to the usual volley of questions from friends and relatives about what it’s like living in England. (They never ask about ‘Britain’, because no one in the USA understands the difference between Britain and England.) The questions are always the exact same, and […]
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Teaching my kid American values: a video that has been years in the making
We’ve been living in the UK around 11 years. Our daughter was born and raised here. She’s an American citizen, but she’s not really American. Not in the ways that count. This weekend they’ll be celebrating the fourth of July back home, and I’ve been missing the USA a lot lately. I wanted to show my […]
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How to pass for English – to avoid being verbally abused in a post-Brexit society
If you’re an expat like me, you’re sure to have noticed that since Britain voted to leave the EU, there have been a lot of news reports about hate speech directed against foreigners. You need to know how to protect yourself. Here are some tips for passing yourself off as English, so you can pass through […]
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I’m sorry Britain. Everyone now thinks you’re stupid. We know how that feels.
Dear Britain: This is a terrible time for you, and I want to offer my support. I know that 52% of you are celebrating the decision to leave the EU. But it’s the other 48% I’m worried about. As an American, I know how you feel – how frustrating it all must be. Not only […]
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Britain’s got talent (for self destruction)
If you follow this blog, you’ve probably noticed that I target British people with my satire a bit more than I do Americans. This is because: America is already frequently satirised by British people and British media. I live here in the UK – and the things that i think are funny/annoying that I encounter every day are […]
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Polite notice: Britain, please stop stealing our culture. Signed – America
Look I get it, American culture is awesome. Who wouldn’t want to partake in it? There’s a reason that Hamburger joints are popping up all over London – Hamburgers taste great! There’s also a reason that action and superhero films make more money in the UK than any other genre- those movies kick ass! And there’s […]
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Don’t order the nachos Charlie Brown!
You will never have good nachos again if you move to Britain. Never. Anyone who has moved here from the USA can attest to the fact that this is a nacho-deficient country. A sad, lost place where nachos exist in appearance, but their true essence and appeal is somehow lost. We expats shuffle through our lives here, ordering […]
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