Random trans-Atlantic claptrap

A list of British “celebrities” no American has ever heard of

This country is filled with non-famous famous people.

If that sentence seems self-contradictory, all I can do is refer you to the latest issue of “Closer” magazine, which is kind of like a British version of  American mag “People.” But instead of being filled with stories about pop stars and movie actors, it’s mostly about “famous” people that no American has ever heard of. Ever. Nor should you have heard of any these people. They are reality TV stars, soap actors, presenters and the wives, boyfriends and girlfriends of other reality TV stars, soap actors and presenters.

Here’s a list of astonishingly unfamous famous names that appear prominently in just one issue of Closer magazine.

Here’s a game for you:

If you’re American, see if you can recognise even 1 person on the list without resorting to Google. If you can, you’re either an Anglophile of the highest order, or you live in the UK.Unknown-person1

If you’re British, see how many of these names you can pretend you don’t recognise. For bonus points, pretend you don’t know any of them. Go ahead, try to pretend you have no idea who Katie Price and Peter Andre are- I’ll play along.

Let me know how you did on the test when you’ve finished*:

  • Nicola Mclean
  • Stacey Solomon
  • Millie Mackintosh
  • Vanessa Feltz
  • Colleen Rooney
  • Kelly Brook
  • Chloe Sims
  • Lauren Goodger
  • Katie Price
  • Kerry Katona
  • Danielle Lloyd
  • Natalie Cassidy
  • Martine McCutcheon
  • Sinitta
  • Ferne McCann
  • Lydia Bright
  • Jessica Wright
  • Mark Wright
  • Michelle Heaton
  • Caroline Flack
  • Simon Webbe
  • Frankie Sandford
  • Liz McClarnon
  • Jesy Nelson
  • Jennifer Ellison
  • Lucy Watson
  • Craig Revel Horwood
  • Lauren Platt
  • Charlotte Crosby
  • Amanda Holden
  • Davina McCall
  • Stephanie Pratt
  • Darcey Bussell
  • Claire Sweeney
  • Lucy Mecklenburgh
  • John Torode
  • Gino D’Acampo
  • Fran Newman-Young
  • Holly Hagan
  • Kate Garraway
  • Clare Nasir
  • Peter Andre
  • David Mcintosh
  • Dr. Christian Jessen
  • Adele Silva
  • Jess Plummer

*Special thanks to my wife, for inspiring me, and for buying Closer magazine.



Leave a Reply