American claptrap, British claptrap

New York doesn’t love you back

For more than three years, I wrote this blog about being an American expat living in Britain. (Editor’s note – this blog is mostly retired. Head over to dothewrongthing.com for new posts). Despite all my time abroad, I never became an expert in “expat stuff.” You wouldn’t want me giving you advice on filing your… Read More New York doesn’t love you back

American claptrap, Uncategorized

Teaching my kid American values: a video that has been years in the making

We’ve been living in the UK around 11 years. Our daughter was born and raised here.  She’s an American citizen, but she’s not really American. Not in the ways that count. This weekend they’ll be celebrating the fourth of July back home, and I’ve been missing the USA a lot lately. I wanted to show my… Read More Teaching my kid American values: a video that has been years in the making

American claptrap, Uncategorized

Polite notice: Britain, please stop stealing our culture. Signed – America

Look I get it, American culture is awesome. Who wouldn’t want to partake in it? There’s a reason that Hamburger joints are popping up all over London – Hamburgers taste great! There’s also a reason that action and superhero films make more money in the UK than any other genre- those movies kick ass!  And there’s… Read More Polite notice: Britain, please stop stealing our culture. Signed – America

American claptrap, British claptrap, Uncategorized

Britain in 1975 and America in the 1950s – the good old days (before foreigners ruined everything)

Britain and America are in trouble. There are few jobs left for natural born citizens. They’ve mostly been taken by foreigners. At least that’s what politicians like Boris Johnson and Donald Trump keep telling us.   In the UK, the Brits will soon vote on whether to leave the EU so they can start closing their borders, especially to refugees… Read More Britain in 1975 and America in the 1950s – the good old days (before foreigners ruined everything)

American claptrap, Uncategorized

CHEEZ GLORIOUS CHEEZ! British people try American spray cheese

All Americans eat cheese out of aerosol cans.  This is what British people seem to believe. I discover this every time I make the mistake of announcing some mildly critical comment about British cuisine. The response is usually: “You have no right to talk, you Yanks eat cheese out of aerosol cans!” This exchange has happened… Read More CHEEZ GLORIOUS CHEEZ! British people try American spray cheese

American claptrap, Uncategorized

Americans is dumb! Or are them? (EDIT: They am.)

*(Editor’s note from 9th November, 2016: “Yes, they am.”) British people believe Americans are stupid.  Not just some Americans. All British people believe all Americans who have ever lived are stupid. Albert Einstein. Noam Chomsky. William Faulkner. Abraham Lincoln. Jonas Salk, Donald Trump. All stupid, because they all are, or were, Americans.  They’re a little less… Read More Americans is dumb! Or are them? (EDIT: They am.)

American claptrap

How to express enthusiasm like an American

This is the season when British students get their exam results. Newspapers all over the country are filled with photographs of white teenage girls jumping up in the air, clutching their school documents, with wild grins on their faces, hair all akimbo.  To an American, this at first seems like a welcome change of pace from… Read More How to express enthusiasm like an American

American claptrap

Roddy Piper: Why fake wrestlers matter to real Americans

Yesterday former professional wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper died. As you may know from reading Expat Claptrap, Roddy was also an actor, appearing in one of my favourite films of all time, the 1988 cult classic “They Live.” I wrote a rather mentally-scattered blog post about the film just a couple of weeks ago- a rant about… Read More Roddy Piper: Why fake wrestlers matter to real Americans