Living abroad means giving up on watching American football. It’s not shown on TV, and it’s not played anywhere outside of the USA. But there’s an upside to this, because frankly, I’ve always found American football to be a dull joke. The games take nearly four hours to play and the players wear 30 pounds of padding and helmets and still manage to get brain damaged.
One of the great things about living abroad is that this is not an unpopular opinion among the 6.7 billion people in the world who aren’t American.
As a consequence, American football gets no coverage outside of the USA. I haven’t seen a mention of the Superbowl in a paper in years (I assume they still have it, yes?) Right now I couldn’t name a single active American football player, except for the following individuals, who have become internationally famous:
- That chap who beat his girlfriend senseless in the elevator and then nonchalantly dragged her unresponsive body around.
- That other lad who beat his toddler so badly with a stick that he bled from his legs and scrotum.
- There’s that fellow who is under indictment for three murders.
- That bloke who was involved in dog fighting rings.
- Er, Joe Namath?
Are there any famous American football players known for something other than their acts of carnage? It seems the NFL is struggling right now as they grope for the best way to
cover up fix their issues with criminal behaviour by their players. At least the American football side-show isn’t dull.